old age jokes

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old age jokes


professions 15
OLD WANTS never die, they become needs

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down

OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever

OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged

OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed

OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip

OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over

WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation

There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, -- but their future is doubtful

recently seen
Recently seen on a card...

Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...

Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!

sharing everything
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."

she is angry at you
Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"

A few minutes later, Timmy returned.

"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"

"She's fine, except that she's angry at you."

"At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?"

"She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.


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