old age jokes

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just achieve their final goal

OLD SOCCER PLAYERS never die, they just lose their kick

OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just fade away

OLD SOLDIERS never die, they just smell that way

OLD SOLDIERS never die, young ones do

OLD SOURDOUGHS never die, they just ferment away

OLD SPELUNKERS never die, they just cave in

OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper

OLD STUDENTS never die, they just get degraded

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just fall off their blocks

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just have a stroke

OLD SWIMMERS never die, they just kick-off

OLD SYSTEM USERS never die, they just chdir to NULL

OLD TANNERS never die, they just go into hiding

OLD TAPE DISPENSERS never die, they just get used up

OLD TEACHERS never die, they just lose their class

OLD TELEPHONES never die, they just stop ringing

OLD THERMODYNAMICISTS never die, they just achieve their state -- of maximum entropy

OLD TIRE TUBES never die, they just get punctured

OLD TRASH never dies, they just bury it

OLD TRIGONOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just lose their identities

OLD TROMBONISTS never die - they just slide away...

OLD TRUCK DRIVERS never die; they just get a new Peterbilt

OLD TV SHOWS never die, they just get rerun on Nickelodeon

OLD TV SOAP STARS never die, they become pathetic

OLD GOAL UMPIRES never die, they just get flagged down -- umpires as in Australian Rules Football

OLD USENETTERS never die, they just become unresponsive

OLD VACATIONERS never die, they just don't come back

OLD VIOLINISTS never die - they just become unstrung.

OLD VOICEMAIL SYSTEMS never die, they just stop answering

OLD WANTS never die, they become needs

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind

OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down

OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever

OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged

OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed

OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip

OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over

WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation

There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, -- but their future is doubtful

Recently seen on a card...

Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...

Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them!