News And Politics

'Well, when I was interviewing Eduard Shevardnadze, I asked him, 'Eduard, who is the son of your father but not your brother?'

'What did he say?' Bush asked.

'He said, 'that's me,' so I hired him.'

Bush patted Gorbachev on the shoulder. 'Thanks, Mikhail. That's a great idea.' As soon as he got back to Washington, Bush called Dan Quayle over to the White House.

'Dan,' he said, 'I've got a question for you. Who is the son of your father but not your brother?'

Quayle looked rather puzzled. 'Can I get back to you on that in 24 hours, Mr. President?' He was very troubled by this question. He kept thinking about it and thinking about it, but couldn't get anywhere. Finally, the thought struck him, 'I'll ask Jim Baker. He's a smart guy.' Quayle called Baker on the phone.

'Jim, I've got a question for you. Who is the son of your father, but not your brother?'

'That would be me,' Baker replied. Quayle broke into a big smile.

'Thanks, Jim. You've helped me out big time.' He went running to the West Wing and burst into the Oval Office. 'Mr. President, I have the answer!'

'Okay, Dan. Who is the son of your father, but not your brother?'

'It's Jim Baker!' said Quayle.

'No,' said Bush. 'It's Shevardnadze.'

So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."

Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."

The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"