9. People never refer to you as "The crazy one in the family"
8. On weekends, you get to bring home weapons of mass destruction
7. Don't want to clean your room? Threaten to tell the United States dad's exact location
6. Play your cards right and in 10 years you'll be torturing the Iraqi people
5. Unique chance to observe a tyrannical madman up close
4. Big inheritance when U.S. troops finally kill your stepfather
3. Father-son bonding over 3am prank calls to U.N. weapons inspectors
2. You can get first pick of the police auction's seized and repossessed camels
1. Get to call Bin Laden "Uncle Osama"
2) Social Security IS a federal program.
3) Benjamin Franklin did NOT invent the light bulb.
4) Trout are not extinct.
5) Brazil DOES have blacks.
6) Speaking is an important part of being president.
7) Our children is learning enough.
8) Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me.
9)Two words... Big Oil.
10) Sanity is an inalieble right.
9. Play romantic music to drown out the cries of tortured dissidents.
8. Shampoo and condition your mustache.
7. Don't be a cheapskate at the movies -- buy the large hummus!
6. Have a violinist brought over to your table and executed.
5. Show sensitive side by releasing her family from prison.
4. "Say it with toxic nerve agents"
3. Sit on porch swing and watch twinkling United State reconnaissance satellites.
2. Name a camel after her.
1. Ask if she wants to "inspect your biological weapon."
"Well," said the guy, "I'm a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can't help practicing my art!"
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
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