News And Politics jokes

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News And Politics


into the dust bin laden of history
 
 
What's the difference between Osama bin Laden and Christmas?

This time next year, there'll still be a Christmas.

inoffensive nicknames for breasts
 
 

1) Chest Trays

2) NFRU (Not for Recreational Use)

3) Pastor Baiters

4) Mounds of Shame

5) Heavenly Canteens

6) Pearly Weights

7) Hooteronomies

8) Pizza Pizza

9) Sweater Undulations

10) The Daughters of Lactiticus

11) Racks of Lambs of God

12) Communion Woofers

13) First and Second Mammalonians

14) Pamela's Burdens

15) Beelzeboobs

gary condit's lifeboat
 
 
Gary Condit was on a sinking ship and everyone was rushing to get into the lifeboats. The captain yelled, "Woman and children first!"

"Screw the Woman!" One man yelled.

"Do we have time?" said Mr. Condit.

divided by a common language
 
 
The British speech:

"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory, we go to liberate, not to conquer.

We are entering Iraq to free a people, and the only flag that will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Don't treat them as refugees, for they are in their own country. If there are casualties of war, then remember, when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest, for your deeds will follow you down history. Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birth of Abraham. Tread lightly there."

The US speech :

"When the president says 'Go', look out - it's hammer time"

(followed by "We Will Rock You" at high volume)


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