The guy thinks it's a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights: the golf course, reading room, library, observation room, cafeteria and, finally, a HUGE room full of clocks.
"What's up with those clocks, Peter?"
"Everyone on earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left on earth. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the Gates to be judged."
The guy thinks this makes sense, but notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. He asks why that is.
"Every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock." This also makes sense, so the guy takes one last look around the room before leaving and notices one clock in the center of the ceiling. On this clock, both hands are spinning at an unbelievable rate.
"What's the story with that clock?"
"Oh, that," St. Peter replies. "That's Bill Clinton's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
Question - What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President?
Answer - A competent liberal President.
Question - Why do the male members of the Kennedy family cry while having sex?
Answer - Mace.
Question - Who was the first liberal Democrat?
Answer - Christopher Columbus. He left not knowing where he was going, got there not knowing where he was, left not knowing where he'd been and did it all on borrowed money.
Liberals are like seagulls: all they do is squawk, eat crap, and they are protected by the government.
None, Clinton does all the screwing!
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