gary condit's clock
One day Gary Condit's wife died and went to heaven, and there she met Saint Peter. She started to look around and she noticed there were thousands of clocks everywhere. As she looked over at one it moved she saw that the hand moved just two ticks.
She asked Saint Peter, "Why are there so many clocks in heaven?"
Saint Peter answered, "Well, every time you tell a lie the clock moves one second."
Mrs. Condit said, "I think I get it, but which one is Gary's clock?"
Saint Peter answers, "God has it up in his office, he's using it as a FAN!"
gary condit's conductivity
Gary Condit is found dead with a smile on his face. Police investigators find his scorched body and determine he had been struck by lightning.
"Why's he smiling?" one officer asks.
The other replies, "He thought he was having his picture taken."
gary condit's fowl behavior
Gary Condit quit politics and got a job at KFC. Why did they fire him?
He couldn't keep his hands off the legs and breasts.
gary condit's lifeboat
Gary Condit was on a sinking ship and everyone was rushing to get into the lifeboats. The captain yelled, "Woman and children first!"
"Screw the Woman!" One man yelled.
"Do we have time?" said Mr. Condit.
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