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A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, struggling to breathe. They ran to him, cradled his bruised head and asked him what had happened.
"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth when I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, 'Saddam Hussein is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash!'"
"He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, 'George W. Bush is a moronic, deceitful, lying piece of trash too!'"
"We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
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A: One wiener, one tongue, one cooked goose, lots of spilled beans and hot water.
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So the first alien says, "UX251, do you see the object on the ground?"
"Yes," answers the other, "what could it be?"
"I don't know, UX251, pass the scanner and see if we can retrieve some data on it."
So they scan the object. "No data available, UZ11, what will we do now?"
The alien thinks for a while, picks up the cap, and puts it on his head. "What could this object possibly be?" asks the other one. "I don't know you weirdo," says the alien, "but I sure feel like beating the crap out of you."
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