News And Politics

Bush is my shepherd I shall not lie
He leadeth me beside the still farms and small towns.
He restoreth my doubt in the Repulican party
He guideth me down the path of untold debt for the party's sake.

My wages he will freeze but my expenses runneth over my income.
He cuteth taxes for the wealthiest surely.
Poverty and hard living shall follow the Republican party
and I shall live in a rented house forever.

5,000 years ago, Moses said:
"Park your camel, pick up your shovel, mount your ass,
and I will lead you to the promised land."

5,000 years later, Franklin D. Roosevelt said:
"Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass, light up a camel
this is the promised land."

Today, Bush will steal your shovel, sell your camel, kick your ass,
and tell you know there is no promised land.

I am glad I am an American and I am glad that I am free
but I wish I were a little dog and bush were a tree.

An insect falls into a mug of beer.
English Man: Throws his mug of bear on the floor and walks out.
American Man: Takes out the insect and drinks tbe beer.
Chinese Man: Eats the insect and throws the beer.
Indian Man: Sells the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the Englishman and buys himself a new mug of beer.
Pakistani Man: Accuses the Indian of throwing the insect into his mug, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan to buy another mug of beer.

Why doesn't George W. Bush eat parrots?

A little thing called cannibalism.

What were Bill Clinton's Final Four picks?

Morehead State, Ball State University, Brigham Young University, and Oral Roberts University.