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News And Politics


the fbi, cia, lapd, and some rabbits
 
 
The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling, "Okay, okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit!"

bush & the blackboard
 
 
George W. Bush was giving a third-grader a lesson on politics. First he asked the kid to write "The President" on the blackboard.

Then Bush asked the child what he thought the President should accomplish and the child replied, "Protect the environment and clean up the air."

Dubya countered, "Why should the clouds be white and the water be blue when they could be all kinds of cool colors? Is that so terrible. Can't we agree on it? Can you spell "Is" and "We"?

The boy spells out "Is" then "We" on the blackboard.

"My friends at the oil companies can make chemicals to make trees tall. If fact, they already did. Can you write, "tall" and "did"?

The boy writes the words on the blackboard.

"Now young man, what have you learned from your talk with the President?"

The boys stands up and reads what he has written on the blackboard aloud: "The President is we tall did."

clinton's safe sex
 
 
What's Bill Clinton's definition of safe sex?

When Hillary's out of town!

george dubya on a sinking ship
 
 
George Bush is on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?

The nation.


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