phone songs
All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.
Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or
3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 Olympic Fanfare 3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321 The Butterfly Song 963, 23621, 3693236236932362, 963, 23621 Happy Birthday 112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121
Mary Had A Little Lamb 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or
3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321 Jingle Bells 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621 Frere Jacques 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111 Olympic Fanfare 3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321 The Butterfly Song 963, 23621, 3693236236932362, 963, 23621 Happy Birthday 112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121
piano
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords. A note left for a pianist from his wife Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
A: A flat minor.
Q: What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A: A flat major.
Q: What do you say to an army officer as you're about to run him or her over with a steam roller?
A: Be flat, major.
Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?
A: See flat major.
Q: What key is "Exploring The Cave With No Flashlight" written in?
A: C sharp or B flat.
Q: What do you get when an army officer puts his nose to the grindstone?
A: A sharp major.
Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
A: Root position cords. A note left for a pianist from his wife Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
piccolo
Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."
A: Shoot one.
Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
A: The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife."
saxophone
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It's all in the grip.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.
A: It's all in the grip.
Q: What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
A: You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.
Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Q: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Sixty. One to change the bulb and fifty-nine to talk about how much better Michael Brecker would have done it.
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