be politically correct
How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men (Or Army Men)
He does not have a beer gut...
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)
He is not quiet...
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.
He is not stupid...
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.
He does not get lost all the time...
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.
He is not balding...
He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.
He is not a cradle robber...
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.
He does not get falling-down drunk...
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.
He is not short...
He is Anatomically Compact.
He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.
He does not have a rich daddy...
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He has the Army as a hobby.
He does not constantly talk about cars...
He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He must be a Transporter.
He does not have a hot body...
He is Physically Combustible.
He is a PT stud.
He is not unsophisticated...
He is Socially Challenged.
He is a Ranger.
He does not eat like a pig...
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.
He is not a bad dancer...
He is Overly Caucasian.
He is from the Muddy Boots Army.
He does not hog the blankets...
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is a Blue Falcon.
He is not a male chauvinist pig...
He has Swine Empathy.
He must be combat arms.
He is not afraid of commitment...
He is Monogamously Challenged.
He loves TDY.
He does not have a beer gut...
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys)
He is not quiet...
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad.
He is not stupid...
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.
He is a field grade.
He does not get lost all the time...
He discovers Alternative Destinations.
He gets temporarily misoriented.
He is not balding...
He is in Follicle Regression.
He has a REALLY squared away high and tight.
He is not a cradle robber...
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He is breaking the new fraternization policies.
He does not get falling-down drunk...
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.
He practices his IMTs in the club.
He is not short...
He is Anatomically Compact.
He suffers from a Napoleon Complex.
He does not have a rich daddy...
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.
He has the Army as a hobby.
He does not constantly talk about cars...
He has a Vehicular Addiction.
He must be a Transporter.
He does not have a hot body...
He is Physically Combustible.
He is a PT stud.
He is not unsophisticated...
He is Socially Challenged.
He is a Ranger.
He does not eat like a pig...
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He eats like a Ranger student at Pizza Hut.
He is not a bad dancer...
He is Overly Caucasian.
He is from the Muddy Boots Army.
He does not hog the blankets...
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is a Blue Falcon.
He is not a male chauvinist pig...
He has Swine Empathy.
He must be combat arms.
He is not afraid of commitment...
He is Monogamously Challenged.
He loves TDY.
become more effective
The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A sergeant reported thoughtfully: "Sir, I just discovered something that does the work of fifty men."
"What is it?" the officer got interested.
"Two hundred soldiers."
"What is it?" the officer got interested.
"Two hundred soldiers."
brag about old times
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
"Why, my outfit was so well drilled," declared one, "that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
"Very good," conceded the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
"What was the jingle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, "just our medals."
brag about parents
An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
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