let's see the world
Two dogfaces were digging a foxhole.
"What made you join the Army?" asked one.
"Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I been doin' it - a shovelful at a time."
"What made you join the Army?" asked one.
"Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I been doin' it - a shovelful at a time."
marines and the police
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.
The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.
At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).
The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.
The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.
At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).
The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.
The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
military christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the skies,
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.
Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
That nothing that flew could slip through our defense.
When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.
And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"
On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk,
And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock.
Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!
They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.
So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.
Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.
But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.
So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!
Air defenses were up, with electronic eyes.
Combat pilots were nestled in ready-room beds,
As enemy silhouettes danced in their heads.
Every jet on the apron, each SAM in its tube,
Was triply-redundant, linked to the Blue Cube,
And ELINT and AWACS gave coverage so dense
That nothing that flew could slip through our defense.
When out of the klaxon arose such a clatter
I dashed to the screen to see what was the matter;
I increased the gain and then, quick as a flash,
Fine-adjusted the filters to damp out the hash.
And there found the source of the warning we'd heeded:
An incoming blip, by eight escorts preceded.
"Alert status red!" went the word down the wire,
As we gave every system the codes that meant "FIRE!"
On Aegis! Up Patriot, Phalanx and Hawk,
And scramble our fighters--let's send the whole flock.
Launch decoys and missiles, use chaff by the yard!
Get the kitchen sink up! Call the National Guard!
They turned toward the target, moved toward it, converged.
Till the tracks on the radar all finally merged,
And the sky was lit up with a demonic light,
As the foe met his fate in the high arctic night.
So we sent out some recon to look for debris,
Yet all that they found, both on land and on sea
Were some toys, a red hat, a charred left leather boot,
Broken sleigh bells, white hair, and a deer's parachute.
Now it isn't quite Christmas, with Saint Nick shot down.
There are unhappy kids in each village and town.
For the Spirit of Christmas can't hope to evade
All the web of defenses we've carefully made.
But a crash program's on: Working hard, night and day,
All the elves are constructing a radar-proof sleigh.
So let's wait for next Christmas, in cheer and in health,
For the future has hope: Santa's coming by stealth!
military traditions
Top Holiday Traditions In The Military
9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt
4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen
3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank
2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out
1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog
9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt
4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen
3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank
2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out
1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog
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