Men And Women

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Men And Women


how to tell when you have pms

1) Everyone around you has an attitude problem.

2) You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.

3) The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.

4) Your man is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.

5) You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, "How's my driving- call 1-800-***-****."

6) Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.

7) You're convinced there's a God and he's male.

8) You're counting down the days until menopause.

9) You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

10) The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

hubby homing device
Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?
Wife #2: Well, everytime he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'
Wife #1: But I still don't understand. How did that kept him from staying out?
Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.
husband & wife
Scene: Suburban home, living room. Post-quarrel.
Wife: You know, I was a fool when I married.
Husband: Yes, dear. But I was in love and didn't notice.
husband detector
What do you call a women who knows where her husband is each night?

A widow.


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