Men And Women

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Men And Women


grandma
What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma?

Grandpa.
grandpa the nudist
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.

The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

guardian angel
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: 'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.'

The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: 'Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.'

The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. 'Where are you?' the man asked. 'Who are you?'

'I am your guardian angel,' the voice answered.

'Oh yeah?' the man asked... 'And where the hell were you when I got married?'

guess who?
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.

"I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"

"But why?" asks the man.

"I'm a divorce lawyer."


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