Men And Women

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Men And Women


bulimic bachelor party
 
 
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

When the cake jumps out of the girl!

rabid dogs are useful
 
 
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. “My wife,” the man replied.

“I'm sorry,” said Bill, “what happened to her?”

“My dog bit her and she died.” Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, “My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well.”

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, “Can I borrow your dog?”

To which the man replied, “Get in line.”

if you were my husband...
 
 
A woman at a party walked up to a man and told him, 'If you were my husband I would poison your drink."

The man replied, 'If you were my wife I would drink it.'

shipwrecked
 
 
    A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island.  One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

    "What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

    "Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were." Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing.  Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.  The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"


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