Men And Women

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Men And Women


one man's torture: a golfing tale
 
 
One day a man and his wife went golfing, as they frequently did together. They arrived at the 12th hole where the husband promptly hit a tremendous slice that ended up behind an old barn.

"I guess I'll just have to play it safe and chip it onto the fairway," said the man.

"No wait," said his wife. "You can hit the ball through the barn."

The man decided to give it a try. But he sliced the ball, which ricocheted off the barn and struck his wife in the head, killing her instantly. The man was distraught and wallowed in his misery for many weeks, depriving himself of golf the whole time.

Eventually he relaized that he must face his demons and headed out to the very same golf course to play. Once again he found himself at the 12th hole and once again he hit a slice right behind the very same barn. As he was preparing to hit out safely to the fairway one of the other players in his foursome asked if he wanted to try and hit it through the barn.

"Oh no," replied the man, horrified. "I tried that last time."

"What happened?"

"I shot an 8!"

friendly neighbors
 
 
A blond was taking a shower when the doorbell rang. Her husband, in the bathroom downstairs, yells for her to get the door. She throws a towel on and runs down to open the door. It was their Chinese neighbor, Way Hung. He says to the blonde, "If you drop your towel, I will give you $500, so she drops her towel. Keeping his promise, Way Hung gives her the money he owes her and leaves. The blonde closes the door and goes back to the bathroom. Her husband asks her, "Who was that? The blonde replies, "Oh, that was our Chinese neighbor. I don't know what he wanted though. Her husband then asks, "Did he mention anything about the $500 he owes me?"
little johnny is number one
 
 
While the teacher was conducting her class, Little Johnny yells out, "Teacher, teacher, I have to take a piss." The teacher, shocked, replies "No, Johnny you may not because you did not raise your hand. And I will speak to your mother for using that word." So Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, teacher, I have to pee!" The teacher turns and says to Little Johnny, the word is 'urinate' and you may not go to the bathroom right now. Little Johnny gets up to leave the room and says, "Teacher, teacher, urinate, but if you have bigger tits you'd be a ten."
wake up, stand up
 
 
A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds. Her husband, half-awake, says, "Close those blinds, those little boys over the road can see my naked body." The woman replies, "If those little boys saw your naked body, they'd close their blinds".

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