Men And Women

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Men And Women


amusement pork
 
 
Q: What do a man and a rollercoaster have in common?

A: You wait three hours for a two-minute ride

women and bikes
 
 
Women are like bikes -- the harder you ride them the better they perform.
where intelligence comes from
 
 
Son: 'Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?'

Dad: 'Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine.'

taking the bullet
 
 
Two guys are drinking together, when one of them throws up all over himself. "Christ!" he says, "My wife ish going to kill me."

His friend puts his arm around his shoulder and offers him 20 dollars. "Don't worry," he says, "I'm your besht friend - give her thish and tell her that I chucked up on your jacket, and that I gave you thish money to get it cleaned."

"Fantashtic," says the first guy. "You're amashing, really the besht."

Arriving home, the poor guy's wife opens the door. "Where the hell have you been, look at the state of you..." she kicks off.

Quickly he replies, "Look love, it's not really my fault. Jack threw up all over me, but you know he's really a nice guy 'cos he gave me 20 bucks to get my jacket cleaned..."

"But there are 40 dollars here," she replies.

"Oh, yeh, I forgot to tell you," he says, "Jack shat in my trousers as well."


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