mother-in-law
A man's house is on fire. He runs out of the house with his son and tells him to wait outside. Then he runs back in and gets his daughter and brings her outside. Then his wife. Then the dog. Then he goes back in a couple of times without bringing out anybody.
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So a fireman asks him, "Why are you going back in there?"
The man replies, "I'm turning over my mother-in-law."
viva las vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and he asks, "Where are you going?" he asked.
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"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year!"
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