Men And Women

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Men And Women


at the pub with joe and his wife
 
 
Joe tells his wife he is heading out to the pub for a drink. His wife starts complaining that he's always at the pub and never takes her anywhere anymore. After hours of complaining, the husband agrees to take his wife to the pub.

They sit down at a table and the husband gets up and goes to get drinks for himself and his wife. While he's gone a man walks up to Joe's wife and tells her he wants to turn her upside down fill her with beer and drink her dry.

Joe's wife exclaims, "You sick pervert! Get out of my sight!"

Joe returns and his wife tells him what happened and asks him to go kick that guy's ass. Joe says, "No way. A guy who can drink that much beer has got to have a pint on me!"

redneck marital woes
 
 
You might be a redneck if you have to take your hat off so your wife can fit into the truck with you.
love at first sight
 
 
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous woman eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of its socket towards the man. With lightning quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.

'Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,' she said as she popped her eye back in the socket. 'Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back to her house, and after some time, she took him into her bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex many times during the night. The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and brought him breakfast in bed.

The guy was amazed and said 'You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No, she replied. "You just happened to catch my eye!'

new baby
 
 
An expectant couple were soon to have their first child. Their doctor told them of a new invention to relieve the mother's pain during childbirth. This invention could be attached to the mother and it would transfer the pain she experienced to the baby's father.

The couple talked it over and the husband was anxious to help his wife with her delivery. When the blessed time came, they opted to use the new invention. It was strapped to the mother and the dial was set at 1.

With the mother's contraction, the husband felt no pain. He asked that the dial be adjusted to 3. With the next contractions, the mother felt less pain and the husband tolerated the experience well.

The husband, feeling courageous and noble, asked that the dial be turned to 100%. The nurse did so and the mother completed the entire labor and delivery with no pain. The husband did not feel any pain either, and was certain that women had over-rated their plight in childbirth.

A few days later the happy new family returned home from the hospital. They were shocked as they drove into their driveway to see the mailman lying dead on the front porch.


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