Men And Women

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Men And Women


cinderella gets some ash
 
 
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears,and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

'First, you must wear a diaphragm. But if you're not home by 2 AM, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.' Cinderella agrees, but she doesn't roll in until five in the morning, looking love-struck and very satisfied.

'Where have you been?' demands the fairy godmother. 'Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!'

'I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.'

'I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!'

'I can't remember, exactly. It was Peter, Peter, something or other...'

rent
 
 
A man decided to spend the night with a prostitute. When it was over she told him to pay $500. He said he'd send it to her in an envelope marked 'Rent for Apartment.' The next day, however, he regretted that he spent the night with her and sent only $250. When she wrote him a letter asking why he didn't pay full price, he wrote her a memo saying:
1. I thought the apartment had not been used before.
2. It did not have adequate heating.
3. It was too large to properly furnish.

A few days later the prostitute sent him another letter saying:
1. You should have known the apartment had been rented previously.
2. The apartment did have adequate heating. You just didn't know how to turn it on.
3. The apartment was the perfect size. You just didn't have large enough furniture to fill it.

screwed, for sure
 
 
Once a lady wanted to leave the U.S.A. but couldn't get a visa. One day, she met a man who told her not to dispair.

"l'll let you sneak aboard my captain's ship and take you to France, but you have to screw me every time I bring you food, okay?"

She accepted, and for about three months the guy brought her food and water and then she screwed him. This went on for about 3 months, at which point she was discovered by the captain. The captain asked what she was doing and she said a man was taking her to France if she screwed him every time he brought her food.

The captain replied, "He sure is screwing you - this is the New York Ferry."

eyes wide shut
 
 
Why do women have sex with their eyes closed?

Because they can't stand seeing a man having a good time!


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