Men And Women jokes

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Men And Women


12- pack
 
 
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, 'Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'

The son then asks his father, 'What's the 6-pack for?'

The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'

Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, 'Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....'

change up
 
 
The president and Mrs. Bush are in the front row at a Yankees game, surrounded by Secret Service agents. Before the game starts, one of the agents whispers in the president's ear, and Mr. Bush smiles and nods. Then he grabs Laura Bush by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet onto the field, cursing all the way before landing in a heap in the dirt. The president raises his arms triumphantly and gets high-fives from fans all around him. Then the agent leans over again and whispers, "Uh, Mr. President, I said they want you to throw out the first pitch!"
tooth pulling
 
 
A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.

The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

"You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turns to her husband and says: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

shipwrecked
 
 
    A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island.  One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, "Stop making love down there!"

    "What's the matter with you?" the husband said when the sailor climbed down. '"We weren't making love."

    "Sorry," said the sailor, "From up there it looked like you were." Every morning thereafter, the sailor scaled the same tree and yelled the same thing.  Finally the husband decided to climb the tree and see for himself. With great difficulty, he made his way to the top.  The husband says to himself, "By golly he's right! It DOES look like they're making love down there!"


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