Men And Women

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Men And Women


genie can't deliver
 
 
There was a guy walking down the street in San Fransisco, and he tripped over an old looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket, because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A genie popped out of his pocket!!!

The very angry looking Genie said, 'Alright, I have had enough with this three wish stuff, and 'cuz you stole me away from my HBO Special, I will only give you one wish!'

The suprised man said, 'OK, I want to live in Hawaii in a huge condo on the beach with three million dollars in the master bedroom, but I am afraid of boats and planes so I want you to build a bridge from here to Hawaii.'

The genie replied with a smirk, 'Are you crazy? Do you know how long that will take, with the pillars going down to the bottom of the ocean, all the cement it would take for the highway? No I'm sorry, it just can't happen.'

The man said, 'Fine then, I want to understand women.'

The genie said, ' Would you like two lanes or four?'

a chewy riddle
 
 
What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?

Bubblegum (what were you thinking?)

baby, i've got a question for you
 
 
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...

Do you have a piece of gum?

that's good, that's bad
 
 
"Did ya hear I got married?"
"Oh, that's good."
"No, that's bad! She's ugly!"
"Oh, that's bad."
"No, that's good! She's rich."
"Oh, that's good!"
"No, that's bad! She won't give me a cent."
"Oh, that's bad."
"No, that's good! She bought me servants and a big house"
"Oh, that's good."
"No, that's bad! The house burnt down."
"Oh, that's bad."
"No, that's good! She was in it."

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