Men And Women

Q: What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?

A: They both make you wait an hour for a two-minute ride!

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. At the front door Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in.

'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' he says.

'That's cool.' says Bobby.

Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie.

Peggy Sue's father responds, 'Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.'

Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and he says, 'Whaaaat?'

'Yeah,' says Peggy Sue's father, 'Peggy Sue really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!'

Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to ear as he mentally revises the night's plans. A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door while Dad is saying, 'Have a good evening, kids!'

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her and screams at her father: 'Dammit, Daddy! The twist! It's called the twist!!'

While he was rooting around in the basement, a man found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it, a genie emerged in a huge cloud of pink smoke.

"I am the all-powerful genie. I shall grant you one wish." The man thought about this, and decided that if there was one thing he couldn't get enough of, it was wine.

"I wish I could pee wine. That's my wish."

"Granted." And the genie disappeared. Later that day, the man's wife came home to find her husband naked, holding a glass.

"Why only one glass?" asked her wife.

"You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

One morning, seventy-five year old Marvin is reminded by his secretary that it his wife's birthday. At lunch, Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for her. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin goes into the store and tells the clerk to wrap up the most expensive, sheerest negligee she has.
Marvin takes the gift and excitedly runs home to his wife. Upon finding her in the kitchen he tells her to take the gift upstairs and unwrap it. He'll wait in the kitchen. His wife thanks him and goes up to the bedroom.
Once the package is opened she realizes that this is something she's never had before. She also sees that it is so sheer it leaves nothing to the imagination. She thinks for a moment and then decides that she'll really surprise Marvin and go downstairs without any clothes on at all.
So she leaves the negligee on the bed and starts down the stairs stark naked. She calls out, 'Marvin, come out to the hallway and look.'
Marvin walks out to the staircase, looks up at his wife, and exclaims, 'All that money and they didn't even iron it?!'