another weekend at the home
Willy, a mental patient, mimes driving a car as he runs around the halls of an asylum. An orderly turns the corner and asks Willy what he's doing.
Willy replies, "I'm going to Chicago for the weekend."
The orderly chuckles and enters another patient's room and catches Bob pleasuring himself.
When asked what he is doing, Bob replies, "I'm screwing Willy's old lady while he's away in Chicago."
arm troubles
A man went to visit his doctor. "Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. "Hello, Doctor't; says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!' says the doctor.
'I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"
army nurse
Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn?
A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs.
ask the doctor
A woman pregnant with her first child paid a visit to her obstetrician's office. After the exam, she shyly said, 'My husband wants me to ask you...,' to which the doctor replies, 'I know, I know,' placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 'I get asked that all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.'
'No, that's not it,' the woman confessed. 'He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.'
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