Medical

"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on," said the first surgeon. "You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

"I think librarians are the easiest to operate on," said the second. "You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

"I like to operate on electricians," said the third. "You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

"I like to operate on lawyers," said the fourth. "They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their asses are interchangeable."

"I like engineers," said the fifth. "They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

That night, as the wife was getting up, her husband asked what she was doing. She replied, "I was just going to make some ice cream." The husband insisted that he would make it. As he was walking into the kitchen, she called out, "WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!"

"Okay dear," he replied.

"And sprinkles too!"

"Okay dear."

From the kitchen came sounds of banging pots and pans and nearly twenty minutes later he came back into the room with bacon and eggs. The wife said "So? Where's the toast?"

After one day:

First worm - dead

Second worm - dead.

Third worm - dead.

Fourth worm - alive.

Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't get worms!