Medical

I wish I was a glow worm.

A glow worm's never glum.

It's hard to be downhearted, When the sun shines out your bum!

One day a group of husbands and wives went to a scientific program. The doctor there was showing them brains from real peopleand telling how expensive it would be to buy one. He said it was five million dollars for a female brain and ten million dollars for a male brain. The men snickered, thinking they knew why. One of the women said, 'Well, why is that, sir?' The doctor answered, "The men's brains cost more, for they have never been used."

A man was working with an electric saw when he accidentally sawed off all ten fingers. He quicky rushed to the emergency room. The doctor there told him, “Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do'.”

“But I don't have the fingers!”

“What! You don't have the fingers!?” said the doctor, “You should have brought them to me. We have all kinds of operations we could have done like microsugery and stuff. We could have put them back as good as new.”

“But Doc, I couldn't pick them up.”

Woman: I have a problem.

Doctor: Well, are you regular?

Woman: Yes I am. Every day I do a number one at 7:30 in the morning and a number two at 8:30.

Doctor: So, what's the problem?

Woman: I don't get up untill 9:30.