little voice
"Doctor! My wife has lost her voice. What can I do to help her get it back!"
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"Try coming home at 3 in the morning."
2 weeks to live
A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have have about two weeks left to live".
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The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that he could do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?"
The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do".
"Just name it, I'll do whatever it is". He tells the man to take alot of mud baths, two or three a day.
The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition"?
The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."
eye exam
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
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The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
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