first day out
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital.
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"How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
bad news
A man went to the doctor to get a physical. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had some bad news... he had cancer and alzheimers.
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The man replied, ' Well, at least I don't have cancer.'
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