the waiting room
This woman is rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Her husband waits patiently in the waiting room. After a few minutes, the doctor comes out and asks her assistant for a wrench, which understandably concerns the husband.
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Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room this time asking for a screwdriver. The man grows worried and begins to pace in circles.
Then, a little later, the doctor bursts through the doors screaming for a hammer, at that, the husband, in a state of frenzied terror, runs up to the surgeon and asks, 'Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?'
"I don't know," replies the flustered doctor, "I can't get my damn bag open."
the shooting
An old lady's husband had just died and she felt their was no reason to live anymore. She called the doctor and asked excactly where her heart was. He told her it should be under her left breast.
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That night she went to the emergency room with a shot in the knee.
old age
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, 'How do you really feel? I mean, you're 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?'
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'Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I've got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.'
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