Medical

The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy."

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!"

Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.

'So what was he doing then?' asks the physician. 'Acid? Cannabis?'

'Sort of,' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. 'But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.'

'And what was in that?' asks the doctor.

'Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.' says the hippie. 'There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.'

'Well, that explains it,' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. 'He is in a Korma.'

'I was an oncologist—I helped many cancer patients and saved many lives,' the man answered.

'Very well,' said St. Peter. 'You may enter...'

Peter looked at the second man and asked, 'What have you done in your life to deserve admittance into heaven?'

'I was a clinical pediatrician—I helped many poor kids who could not afford private care,' said the second man.

'Very well,' said St. Peter. 'You may enter...'

Peter then turned to the third man and asked, 'And what have YOU done in your life to deserve admittance into heaven?'

'I was the director of a large HMO company in the United States,' the third man said proudly.

St. Peter paused and looked in his book for a few minutes. After a while, he looked up and said to the third man, 'Well, you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but you may only stay for three days....'