i want to lose weight
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
i'm gaining some weight
Trish: My stomach is getting awfully big, doctor.
Doctor: You should diet.
Trish: Really? What color?
Doctor: You should diet.
Trish: Really? What color?
i'm in a fighting mood
Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.
i've got good and bad
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
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