joke collection 58
Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter. Nobody will notice anyway.
Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the guitarist has to show him first
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to light a candle and say it's just as good as electric light.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: "I've got a candle that looks just like it."
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Lightbulbs? C'mon, I got sunlight, fluorescent, candles-anything you want.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "Oh, just one. But this bulb won't do. You want to use a 3-way bulb, but if you can afford it, I hear that next month GE will be coming out .... "
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but if you wait until next month, Yamaha will have a new model bulb out which is much better.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw in the bulb, and one to patch it into the Korg.
A: It doesn't matter. Nobody will notice anyway.
Q: How many bassists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the guitarist has to show him first
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to light a candle and say it's just as good as electric light.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None: "I've got a candle that looks just like it."
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Lightbulbs? C'mon, I got sunlight, fluorescent, candles-anything you want.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: "Oh, just one. But this bulb won't do. You want to use a 3-way bulb, but if you can afford it, I hear that next month GE will be coming out .... "
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but if you wait until next month, Yamaha will have a new model bulb out which is much better.
Q: How many keyboardists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw in the bulb, and one to patch it into the Korg.
joke collection 59
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One, but only after asking "Why?"
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They have a machine that does that now.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to screw it in and one to complain that it is electrified.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: Three, one to do it and two to argue about whether that was the way Bill Monroe would have done it.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter because the banjo player is gonna' change it again anyway after everybody else is done.
Q: How many bluegrass musicians it takes to change a light bulb?
A: They don't. They only use acoustic light bulbs.
joke collection 60
Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to go to Chicago because there might be a lightbulb there and the other to play harp.
Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb, and four to play sad, blue songs about the old, wornout lightbulb.
Q: How many CD player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stustustustustustustustustustuck
Q: How many LP player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stuck... getting stuck... getting stuck...
Q: How many comp.sys.intel readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 0.999999875
Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to ask the socket to eject the old bulb, and one to insert the new one.
A: Two. One to go to Chicago because there might be a lightbulb there and the other to play harp.
Q: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to screw in the lightbulb, and four to play sad, blue songs about the old, wornout lightbulb.
Q: How many CD player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stustustustustustustustustustuck
Q: How many LP player users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but the old bulb keeps getting stuck... getting stuck... getting stuck...
Q: How many comp.sys.intel readers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 0.999999875
Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to ask the socket to eject the old bulb, and one to insert the new one.
joke collection 61
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren't compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off ?
Note: On the Macintosh, types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.
Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones' butt.
Q: How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. As long as she can get under your feet and trip you up while you're changing it.
Q: How many antelopes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.
A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren't compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off ?
Note: On the Macintosh, types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.
Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones' butt.
Q: How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one. As long as she can get under your feet and trip you up while you're changing it.
Q: How many antelopes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They are hardy animals that migrate between tundra and wide open plains and therefore have no need for an artificial light source.
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