joke collection 46
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One if at home, but on school time, four.
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: On the space shuttle, 1,000,001. One to screw it in and a million to pick up the pieces.
Q: How many Ph.D thesis supervisors (advisors) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one; but every time they see a lightbulb they have an irresistible urge to change it!
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but once we get tenure, we don't change anymore.
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: How many Stanford researchers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to bill the government for the house.
Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
A: One if at home, but on school time, four.
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: On the space shuttle, 1,000,001. One to screw it in and a million to pick up the pieces.
Q: How many Ph.D thesis supervisors (advisors) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one; but every time they see a lightbulb they have an irresistible urge to change it!
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but once we get tenure, we don't change anymore.
Q: How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: You need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: How many Stanford researchers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and one to bill the government for the house.
Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
joke collection 47
Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's what research students are for.
Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.
Q: How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.
Q: Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark?
A: He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.
Q: How many George Smillivitches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, becouse tough girls aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it.
Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.
Note: Topical to French farmers setting fire to imported British sheep.)
Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and watch the old bulb burn.
A: None. That's what research students are for.
Q: How many academics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to write the grant proposal, one to do the mathematical modelling, one to type the research paper, one to submit the paper for publishing, and one to hire a student to do the work.
Q: How many sheep does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to follow him round while he looks for a new one.
Q: Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark?
A: He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.
Q: How many George Smillivitches does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, becouse tough girls aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it, and one of them can change the bulb while he's at it.
Q: How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.
Note: Topical to French farmers setting fire to imported British sheep.)
Q: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and watch the old bulb burn.
joke collection 48
Q: How many Alaskan women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "Hey Bob, this is Carol ... I think I have a lightbulb out over here."
Q: How many Alaskan men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Oh, none ... they just have one of their girlfriends do it. [bitter laugh]
Q: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a service come in and do that.
Q: How many Austinites/Berkeleyites/Boulderites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four to talk about how much better it was in the Sixties.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Three - one to change the light bulb and two to say "Oh Wow!"
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Five - one to screw it in and four to sit in the hot tub and discuss the environmental impact.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Eleven. One to change it and ten to follow the trend.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Six. One to screw it in, one for support, and four to share the experience. This joke was once overheard being told by a lecturer to a class of students during a lecture, in order to make a point about the fact that only one student was doing any work at the terminal while a whole bunch had crowded round to watch - sharing the experience of him doing the work.
A: "Hey Bob, this is Carol ... I think I have a lightbulb out over here."
Q: How many Alaskan men does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Oh, none ... they just have one of their girlfriends do it. [bitter laugh]
Q: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a service come in and do that.
Q: How many Austinites/Berkeleyites/Boulderites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb and four to talk about how much better it was in the Sixties.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Three - one to change the light bulb and two to say "Oh Wow!"
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Five - one to screw it in and four to sit in the hot tub and discuss the environmental impact.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Eleven. One to change it and ten to follow the trend.
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Six. One to screw it in, one for support, and four to share the experience. This joke was once overheard being told by a lecturer to a class of students during a lecture, in order to make a point about the fact that only one student was doing any work at the terminal while a whole bunch had crowded round to watch - sharing the experience of him doing the work.
joke collection 49
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest about the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They prefer everything all black anyway.
Q: How many Evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 33. One to do it, 2 to bask in its glory, and 30 to take collections in the bulb's name.
Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. And optionally, we may add one fraternity to start the "wet T-shirt" contest!
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to replace it and one to tell him it was burned out (in states that still have car-inspection laws.)
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
A: Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.
Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest about the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They prefer everything all black anyway.
Q: How many Evangelists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: 33. One to do it, 2 to bask in its glory, and 30 to take collections in the bulb's name.
Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. And optionally, we may add one fraternity to start the "wet T-shirt" contest!
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to replace it and one to tell him it was burned out (in states that still have car-inspection laws.)
Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
Page 14 of 27 «« Previous | Next »»