stupid attorneys
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.
"I locked my keys in my sports car!" said the nervous lawyer.
"No problem, I should be there in about an hour," replied the locksmith.
"Do you think you can make it a little sooner?" pleaded the lawyer. "My top is down and it's starting to rain."
 |
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
"I locked my keys in my sports car!" said the nervous lawyer.
"No problem, I should be there in about an hour," replied the locksmith.
"Do you think you can make it a little sooner?" pleaded the lawyer. "My top is down and it's starting to rain."
fight to win a case
A junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far away country to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: “Justice prevailed.”
The senior partner replied in haste, “Appeal immediately.”
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
Excited about his success, the attorney e-mailed the firm: “Justice prevailed.”
The senior partner replied in haste, “Appeal immediately.”
legal quotes & quips
When there are too many policemen, there can be no liberty;
When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;
When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.”
-- Lin Yutang
“Litigation is a machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.”
-- Ambrose Bierce
"A country man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.”
-- Benjamin Franklin
“Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.”
-- Oscar Wilde
“In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”
-- Lenny Bruce
“I was never ruined but twice -- once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one.”
-- Voltaire
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
When there are too many soldiers, there can be no peace;
When there are too many lawyers, there can be no justice.”
-- Lin Yutang
“Litigation is a machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage.”
-- Ambrose Bierce
"A country man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.”
-- Benjamin Franklin
“Lawyers have been known to wrest from reluctant juries triumphant verdicts of acquittal for their clients, even when those clients, as often happens, were clearly and unmistakably innocent.”
-- Oscar Wilde
“In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.”
-- Lenny Bruce
“I was never ruined but twice -- once when I lost a lawsuit, and once when I gained one.”
-- Voltaire
introduce lawyers
"You are a cheat!" shouted the attorney to his opponent.
"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.
Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
"And you're a liar!" bellowed the opposition.
Banging his gavel loudly, the judge interjected, "Now that both attorneys have been identified for the record, let's get on with the case."
Page 21 of 25 «« Previous | Next »»