really bloody mary
How do you know your bartender doesn't like you any more?
There is a string hanging out of your Bloody Mary!
really sick
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor.
The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine.
The next day the doctor called and the wife answered.
"I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said.
"I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample".
After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"He needs a pair of your underwear".
red ring
A man goes to his doctor and says, 'Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem.' The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area.
'It's all cleared up!' the man reports when he returns. 'But what was that medication you gave me?'
'Lipstick remover.'
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