Gross

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, 'He isn't here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.' By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, 'You're sure he isn't here?'
The bartender says, 'Yes, I'm very sure.'
The lady says, 'Well, I just wanted to tell him there's no toilet paper or soap in the women's restroom.'

How many men does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw 'em!

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who...
1) would treat her nicely
2) wouldn't run away from her
3) would be good in bed.

Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.

"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."

"Yes, but are you good in bed?"

"How do you think I rang the doorbell?"

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?

Answer: No!

Response: Wanna go to a party?