Gross

People say he was half-nuts!

The man was slightly deaf and said, 'What?'

Again, the doctor said, 'I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

'Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!'

Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!

She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself.

Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"

Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him.

Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."

"Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"

Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.

"Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher.

"Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies.

"Yes."

"Do farts have lumps?"

"No. Why do you ask."

"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."