Gross

Susan was standing on a street corner when Bob stopped and said, 'Hey Susan, er, did you know you have a tampon hanging out of your mouth?'

'Oh my God,' she said, 'what did I do with my cigarette?'

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secrect is.
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
"mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm."
"I'm sorry, I still didn't understand you." The successful man spits something into his hand.
"You've got to keep your worms warm."

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, 'I'll have a pint of blood.'

The second one says, 'I'll have one, too.'

The third one says, 'I'll have a pint of plasma.'

The bartender says, 'So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?'

A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda."

The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'"

"No," the guy says. "My farts do."

So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside.

After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist."

The guy says, "Why a dentist?"

The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth."

The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?"

The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"