Gross

What do you give an 80 yr-old grandma for her birthday?

Mikey, he'll eat anything!

Jesus and Moses are walking along the beach when all of a sudden Moses shouts out, 'You know what? I'm going to try and part the ocean again.' And he throws his hands in the air and magically the ocean parts. Jesus sees this and says, 'I'm going to try and walk on water again!' So he walks up to the water and takes a step on top and sinks! Moses says, 'Try it again, Jesus. It's been a while.' So Jesus tries again and once more, he sinks.

Jesus comes up out of the water and says, 'I know what the problem is. When I walked on water before, I didn't have holes in my feet!'

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs.

A: Ground Beef!

What is LXIX?

69, the hard way.