Gross

Tear gas!

One cannibal says, "Look at this! You start at the feet and I'll start at the head and we'll meet in the middle."

So the two cannibals start eating.

After a half an hour one stops eating, looks up, and says, "I don't know about you, but this is great! How are you doing?"

The other cannibal answers, "This is great! I'm havin' a ball!"

The other cannibal says, "Hey, no fair! You're eating too fast!"

The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them.

The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?”

The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.”

The wife looked disgusted. “Oh please,” she muttered.

“What?” asked the clerk. “Oh nothing,” she answered, “it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing.”