Gross

A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.

"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.

"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"

What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree?

Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.

Jeremy and Kris are walking down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replied, "I think you'd have to pet him first."

One day Reverend Smith went to visit Mrs. Jenkins, one of the elder parishoners in his church. When he arrived she asked him to wait in the parlor while she went to the kitchen to get refreshments for their visit. Reverend Smith, while waiting in the parlor, happened to notice that on top of Mrs. Jenkins' organ was sitting a bowl which contained a condom floating in water.

Now Reverend Smith was very befuddled and after Mrs. Jenkins returned he couldn't help himself and asked her to explain this to him.

"Oh, Reverend Smith," she replied, "I found that lying on the street corner and the package said that if you put it on your organ and keep it wet that it will prevent disease and frankly, I haven't been sick all year."