Gross

One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, 'There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything.'

After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same.

After hesitating, they all did it.

'Next,' the professor said, 'you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger.'

What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided attention.

What is the definition of suspicious?

A nun doing sit-ups in a cucumber field.

A sexy lady in a bar walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The bartender says, 'He isn't here but I can do anything the manger can do for you.' By this time the lady is running her fingers down his face and into his mouth and is letting him suck on her fingers.
She says, 'You're sure he isn't here?'
The bartender says, 'Yes, I'm very sure.'
The lady says, 'Well, I just wanted to tell him there's no toilet paper or soap in the women's restroom.'