Gross

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Gross


doorprize
 
 
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush.

'What the hell is this?' he asks the pastor.

'Why, it's a toilet brush.'

'Ooh, I see,' says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working.

'Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper.'

nurse nancy
 
 
Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about nurse Nancy.

'She's out of control!' the first doctor says. 'She does everything backwards. Just last week I told her to give a man two milligrams of morphine every ten hours, she gave him 10 milligrams every two hours, he alomost died!'

'That's nothing,' said the second doctor, "earlier this week I told her to give a man an enema every 24 hours, she tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour!'

All of a sudden they heard a blood curldling scream from down the hallway.

'OH MY GOD! I just realized that I told nurse Nancy to prick Mr. Smiths boil!'

camoflauge clothing
 
 
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.

"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."

"That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.

"Get my brown pants."

the toothbrush and the toilet paper
 
 
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, 'Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world.' Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"

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