marriage quotes 11
My other wife is beautiful.
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac
Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.
My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.
My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac
Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
marriage quotes 12
Nuns: Women who marry God. If they divorce Him, do they get half the universe?
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
Spinster: A bachelor's wife.
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.
Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father.
Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands, but English women only hope to find in their butlers. -- W. Somerset Maugham
Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Shotgun wedding: a case of wife or death.
Spinster: A bachelor's wife.
Suicide is belated acquiescence in the opinion of one's wife's relatives.
Question: Ted Kennedy: "Where was George?"
Answer: Dry, sober, and at home with his wife
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
To heck with marrying a girl who makes biscuits like her mother--I want to marry one who makes dough like her father.
marriage quotes 13
The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx
The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. -- Groucho Marx
The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is Marxism. --Heidi Hartmann [The Unhappy Marriage of Marxism and Feminism]
The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. -- James Holt McGavran
To keep your marriage brimming
With love in the marriage cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
Whenever you're right, shut up. -- Nash
marriage quotes 14
This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all.
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken
What's new? Most of my wife.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.
You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family.
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. -- Groucho Marx
We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. -- H.L. Mencken
What's new? Most of my wife.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -- Guitry
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
Why bother with marriage? Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Wife: The perfect acquisition for any gentleman feeling himself to have excessive control over his personal affairs.
You will marry into an Indian tribe and become one big Hopi family.
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