business one-liners 38
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
The elevator always comes after you have put down your bag.
The explanation of a disaster will be made by a stand-in.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
The first 90 percent of the task takes 90 percent of the time, the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent.
The first myth of management is that it exists; the second myth of management is that success equals skill.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all of the parts.
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The elevator always comes after you have put down your bag.
The explanation of a disaster will be made by a stand-in.
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
The farther away the future is, the better it looks.
The faster the plane, the narrower the seats.
The first 90 percent of the task takes 90 percent of the time, the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent.
The first myth of management is that it exists; the second myth of management is that success equals skill.
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all of the parts.
business one-liners 39
The first time is for love, the next time is $200.
The floggings will continue until morale improves.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
The hardness of the butter is in inverse proportion to the softness of the bread.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.
The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
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The floggings will continue until morale improves.
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. - Eleanor Roosevelt
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
The hardness of the butter is in inverse proportion to the softness of the bread.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
The lagging activity in a project will invariably be found in the area where the highest overtime rates lie waiting.
The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
business one-liners 40
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
The longer the title the less important the job.
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we're done with it.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not it's mineral rights.
The moment for calm and rational discussion is past; now is the time for senseless bickering.
The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.
The more things change, the more they stay insane.
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The longer the title the less important the job.
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we're done with it.
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not it's mineral rights.
The moment for calm and rational discussion is past; now is the time for senseless bickering.
The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
The more directives you issue to solve a problem, the worse it gets.
The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher probability of its success.
The more things change, the more they stay insane.
business one-liners 45
The success of any venture will be helped by prayer, even in the wrong denomination.
The sun goes down just when you need it the most.
The tasks and chores that get rewarded, get done first.
The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they want, but they know for what they don't want.
The trouble with doing right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was!
The two greatest causes of system failures are sysadmins and users. If you can keep both of these groups away from your machines, the reliability increases dramatically.
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
The trick is to stop thinking it is 'your' money. - IRS auditor
The trouble with life is that it's a do-it-yourself kit without instructions.
There is never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
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The sun goes down just when you need it the most.
The tasks and chores that get rewarded, get done first.
The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys.
The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they want, but they know for what they don't want.
The trouble with doing right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was!
The two greatest causes of system failures are sysadmins and users. If you can keep both of these groups away from your machines, the reliability increases dramatically.
The usefulness of any meeting is in inverse proportion to the attendance.
The trick is to stop thinking it is 'your' money. - IRS auditor
The trouble with life is that it's a do-it-yourself kit without instructions.
There is never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
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