funny one liners

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funny one liners


news headlines 04
 
 
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Air Head Fired

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

Deer Kill 17,000

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

War Dims Hope for Peace

news headlines 05
 
 
Steals Clock, Faces Time

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Include your Children when Baking Cookies

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

business one-liners 01
 
 
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country.

A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sense.

A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work.

A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.

A bird in the hand is always safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand is dead.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A boss with no humor is like a job that is no fun.

A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

business one-liners 08
 
 
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy.

All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. - Walt Disney

All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.

All the world is a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

All things being equal, all things are never equal.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.


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