funny insults

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

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One song short of a musical.

One span short of a bridge.

One step short of the attic.

One strawberry short of a quart.

One strike past being called out.

One sub short of a party platter.

One taco/enchilada short of a combination plate.

One teabag short of a pot.

One tower short of a castle.

One tree short of a hammock.

One vine short of the tree. (For Tarzan types.)

One weight short of a shipwreck.

Only one oar in the water.

Only playing with 51 cards.

Only playing with the jokers.

A brief synopsis... When you're at a loss for words but want to tell someone that he or she is stupid, remember some these quips from our collection here at Aha! Jokes.

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Spent a decade on the leading edge of drug experimentation.

Still boots to DOS.

Still sending messages with his secret decoder ring.

Still traumatized from the forest fire in "Bambi".

Stocksy-babes. (A truly vile British-slang insult.)

Strong, like bull. Smart, like tractor. Beautiful, like KV-2. (A WWII era Russian tank.)

Stuck on the down escalator of life.

Stumped by anything child-proof.

Subtle as a well-thrown brick.

Suffers from Clue Deficit Disorder.

Supports nativist theories that man is formed from clay.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Switch is on, but no one's receiving.

Takes her 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

Takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

I hear you are a real humanitarian. You have kept three or four detectives working regularly.

I hear you are connected to the Police Department -- by a pair of handcuffs.

Hello -- tall, dark and obnoxious!

You remind me of the ocean -- you make me sick.

You should have been born in the Dark Ages; you look terrible in the light.

All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe thatmany people are to blame for producing you.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree, I've wanted to cut it down.

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.

After hearing you talk, I now know that the dead do contact us.

You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a bigamist.

I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter, but now I see you are not worth it!

We know that you would give your life for us. Promise!

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say it was your stupidity.

Well, I'll see you in my dreams -- if I eat too much.

Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.

I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.

You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.

If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!

I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.

Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly, too.

I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.