funny bumper stickers

"Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition."

"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."

"If you don't like the news, go out and make some."

"I Brake For No Apparent Reason."

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

"I may be fat, but you're ugly - I can lose weight!"

"No Radio - Already Stolen"

"Few women admit their age, Few men act it! "

"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!"

"According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist."

"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have."

"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

Seen on a woman's car: "Men call us birds, we pick up worms"

"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"

"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles."

"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."

"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"

"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."

"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."

"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "

"MY CHILD was trustee of the month at ELMWOOD!!"

BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!