funny answering machine messages

To the Batmobile! Let's go! Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Roger, ready to move out! (Theme music from Batman; reduce to background.) As you can see, I'm off making Montreal a safer place' to live. So if you'll leave a message after the tone, I'll get back to you as soon as justice is served. Bye-bye! (Music continues. POW, BIFF.)

In Joe Friday voice: This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service. The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada. To facilitate our investigation, we would appreciate you leaving your name, number, a brief message, and any affiliations you may have made now, or in the past, with communist or terrorist organizations. Thank you.

Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance.

Annoying flute music in background: Good day, Jim. Your contact, Linda, is not available right now. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a brief message at the tone. This tape will self-destruct in thirty seconds. Good Luck, Jim.